Affirmation #4: I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR ALL OF IT

Today right now in this LOADED MOMENT 

I AM CHOOSING to forgive myself.

For all of it.

For every single part of the story.

Because I am so ready for a brand-new story.

But I know I’m going to carry the baggage of my past into this glittering new era—

Unless I choose to let that baggage go

It can stay right on the carousel at baggage claim 

And I can walk to my next destination so much lighter 

Because this next era is about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for myself 

It’s about being my own ride or fucking die.

Because I KNOW self-love is the strongest foundation of all.

And I intend on doing extraordinary things moving forward 

And extraordinary, big things can not be sustained on weak floorboards— 

they’ll fall right through them 

and they are precious.

I want to keep all I’m calling in—

so we need a stable base here.

But I’ve got no chance of cultivating the foundation of SELF FUCKING LOVE 

If I’m looking at the past with regret.

With shame.

With anger. 

With embarrassment. 

With secrecy.

Of the things I’ve done 

and all the people I’ve been— 

the truth is

I’ve been holding on tightly to these things.

Tighter than I realize.

I wonder why I still have these blocks stopping me from getting what I truly want.

I wonder why I still feel unworthy of success.

Or move into rooms like I’m already unwanted or in trouble.

Or take jobs beneath me because I feel so bad about how I fucked up at the last job.

Or push good things away because I don’t feel good enough for good things—

because of the “bad things” I’ve done. 

My arms are tired from holding so much of this

My shoulders hurt from the weight of carrying them around.

I want to move freely into the future,

I don’t want to feel dragged down by anything!

So guess what?

I forgive myself. 

I forgive myself for the times I kept my mouth shut because I was too afraid to speak up

I forgive myself for every single lie I ever told—and have radical empathy for the person inside of me who felt like she had to tell those lies—who felt like the truth would render her unloveable. 

I am giving the girl inside of me who wanted to be loved so badly and didn’t believe anyone would love her if they knew the truth—a BIG HUG. 

I forgive myself for not showing up the way I wished I’d shown up in my relationships. I understand now that I didn’t have the tools I have now. It’s OKAY. It’s like Maya Angelou says, “When you know better you do better.” I know better now. I will do better. But I didn’t know better then and that’s SO OKAY. 

I forgive myself for all the times I treated my body like shit. My body is my home, it’s my temple, and yes—I’ve had moments where I starved her, hurt her, let energy vampires have access to her, shamed her, and let myself and others abuse her.

I apologize to my body—and she understands because we are not separate entities. She is me and I am her. And WE forgive me unequivocally for all I’ve done. We forgive me right now and have so much love for the version of me that didn’t feel safe in her body and we want you to know it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your fault in the slightest. You were made to feel unsafe, you did nothing wrong, you were just trying to run away, we get it. And there is no need to run anymore. You are forgiven, your body is safe and we welcome you back home. 

I forgive myself for all the times I let the fear of rejection stand in the way of who I really am and go after the things I really want. I give the part of me that felt like validation or success or that job was going to make or break my whole world—a giant hug—and let that part of me know that we love her NO  MATTER FUCKING WHAT, we remind her that rejection is protection, rejection is redirection, failure is a marker of success, we believe in her, GO FOR IT we’re proud of you for going for it, but we forgive you for being human and letting the noise stand in your way.

I FORGIVE myself for anything else I’ve done. No matter what it was. I know I’m a GOOD, kind, LOVING person who just doing her best to survive some really tough shit. I’m dropping the story of regret, but I’m keeping the lessons of what I’ve learned. And damn all these things I’ve been ashamed of COME WITH GREAT GIFTS that I can carry into this next era of my life. 

And now that I’ve unequivocally forgiven myself—I forgive everyone else too. Even those who hurt me or wronged me. I don’t need to have them in my life but I don’t need to carry their burdens around either. The pain the bestowed on me is not mine to carry so I’m dropping that story—But taking their glorious lessons. 

I LOVE MYSELF.

I LOVE ALL PARTS OF MYSELF.

I LOVE THE MIXED-UP MISTAKES I’VE MADE ON THE JOURNEY. 

I LOVE ALL THE ITERATIONS I’VE BEEN.

THERE ARE NO MISTAKES.

WHEN WE FAIL WE FAIL FORWARD

I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH 

I HAVE OFFICIALLY LET GO 

I’m ready to build a life of radical self-love 

And no matter what is happening to me today 

I LOOK FUCKING HOT—

EVEN IF I’M HUNGOVER OR HAVE BAGS UNDER MY EYES—

ESPECIALLY WHEN I’m hungover and have bags under my eyes.

I love myself radically.

And now that I’ve freed myself from sand-bags dragging me down.

today I’ll celebrate by making a list of everything going forward.

Because finally, I’m free!

And I finally have the missing ingredient: self-love. 

This means I’m finally ready to receive and be raw in everything my heart desires.

AND SO IT F*CKING IS.

Nothing is sexier than a woman who owns her story 

with zero regret.

Every bag under my eye is beautiful because it’s evidence that I am alive, living, breathing, and feeling!

How lucky to live a life so rich with nuance that it gives you bags under your eyes!

I’ve let go of everything I used to be ashamed of 

I forgive myself radically.

AND SO IT F*CKING IS.

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